Samvatsari – the festival of mending hearts

by on September 1, 2011

On this day of Samvatsari Festival which is the festival of forgiveness and inner cleansing, these thoughts pour from the heart:

 

Can we trace the history of hurt?

 

How often have I explained myself saying – “I did not intend to hurt you”? Right after I have hurt you, intentionally or otherwise. You have hurt me too, intentionally or otherwise. This unfortunate cycle has played out multiple times. Not just in this life time. For it is not just in this birth that we have met. When did it start? How can we possibly remember? So, how then do I trace my history of hurt with you?

 

For in that history resides the real intention – of my life with you. Without the knowledge of that history, how can I speak of intention?

 

But, does it matter? Do I need to know if it started in this life or the previous one, or the one before that? If it was you who started this or me? Should I remain stubbornly trapped within my limited memory? Do I need to wait endlessly until I one day discover the cause for this to end?

 

Not really, say the seers. There is something I can do right now.

 

I can go beyond the blame game.

 

I can acknowledge that there MUST be a history. I can take responsibility for that history. I can say, “Knowingly or unknowingly, if I have hurt you, I am truly sorry.” For if I had not done ‘that’ action, why would ‘this’ act happen to me? So even if it seems that you are the one hurting me now, in my wisdom, I know otherwise. Deep within me, I know that in this cycle of hurtful exchanges, I am as responsible as you are.

 

Samvatsari festival of forgiveness

Samvatsari Festival of Forgiveness

It is after all, my life, where nothing can happen without being engineered by me. Hence whether I like it or not, I am responsible. I can choose to accept that responsibility with equanimity.

 

Someone has to break the chain of hurt – why not me?

 

For those actions of body, mind and speech which may have hurt you, which I may have committed in awareness or otherwise, I seek your forgiveness. May we leave the past behind us, and create a future where we choose to nurture rather than hurt, forgive rather than blame, love rather than hate!

 

Micchāmi Dukkaḍaṃ!

 

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